Day One Hundred-Ten: Proof of Who's Not In Control

Want Proof That We Are Not In Control?

Did you ever notice that:

Whenever you are finally alone in the house and are happily using the bathroom for: a.) a bath, b.) a long, shower, c.) an uninterrupted #2, the phone inevitably rings?

When you plan on having 2 girls, you get 4 boys and a male dog?

When you finally resolve to lose weight the doorbell rings with the Girl Scout Cookies you just ordered?

When you have to have your photo taken you always get a huge pimple on your face?

Student loans are forever but the knowledge you paid for it not?

When you finally have a black tie invitation and a gown in the closet that fits, you realize that your kid's Cub Scout overnight weekend is for that same Saturday?

You pride yourself on your impeccable taste and fashion sense but your children's favorite apparel is cartoon clad t-shirts from WalMart?

You finally get to buy the car of your dreams but need to trade it in for a minivan due to your ever expanding family?

Just when all the clothes you kept for 10 years are finally back in style, they no longer fit?

When all the stars align and you get a night out with your significant other, you end up with the stomach flu?

Ice cream does not count as a dairy consumption under the Weight Watcher plan?

When you get yourself out of debt and on the right financial path, the van needs major repairs and a major appliance dies needing immediate replacement?

You slog your way through that 400 page heralded jewel of English literature when you are finally old enough to understand it but upon finishing it you realize it wasn't high school, you do really hate it?

During a lull in the chaos, a friend calls to chat, it is then and only then that the kids want something and/or start fighting, the dog starts barking out and the doorbell rings?

Whenever you put on new sneakers you step in dog poop?

When you get everyone out of the house, with a huge sigh of relief, you start missing everyone?

Just when you've convinced your husband that you are spending little and living frugally, the UPS driver arrives with several mail order packages?

What ever you think you can't get through, you do?

Here's to letting go and riding the wave!

Day One Hundred-Nine: Who Is In Control?

Are we really in control?

I was taking my son to a friend's house yesterday, about 5 miles from our house. It could have been 100 miles away fro the difference in the landscape. We drove along a winding road filled with dense pockets of pine trees crowding either side. The storm of last month was there all around us. Trunks snapped in two, downed limbs and uprooted trees littered the sides of the road and the floor of the forest as we drove past. It was a stark reminder that if we believe we are the one's in control, we are fooling ourselves.

I spend much of my life trying in vain to control everything around me. I admit that I am a control freak, and it is not something I am very proud of, well, not all of the time. I want to know what I'm doing, where I'm going and how long its going to take. This applies to the family's morning routine as well my long term life plan and everything in between. I have been known to do crazy stuff like rearranging a sock drawer just for the satisfaction of streamlining the contents; i.e. control. What an exhausting illusion.

We only need to look at the recent catastrophic events in Haiti and Chile to know that we as humans have only built for ourselves the illusion of control. We can plan until the cows come home, but if mother nature has a different plan, we are powerless to change it. The only thing we can control is our response. We can be prepared, be informed and be careful in our planning and that is just about the extent of our control. When the storm hits, we react, hopefully survive and move on.

This is absolutely the road map on how to live life. I can plan how my day will go, but I have to be ready to bob and weave with whatever roadblock is thrown in my way. I can envision what type of person each of my sons will grow up to become, but it is ultimately up to them to chose their own path. I can plan to become old and senile with loads of grandchildren and great grand children, but only the universe knows how long I will be on this earth. I can prepare my day, teach my children, careful with my health, but I can't control any of it. None of us can. This is not fatalistic, this is just being real.

This is where faith comes in. Whether you believe in God, a higher power, the wisdom of the Gods or the Wisdom of the Universe, ultimately that faith is what is going to sustain you through each day, year and every year after that. Someone or something gave us the sense to prepare, so someone or something out there is rooting for us. We may not be in control, blackberries, email accounts, travel itineraries, stock portfolios and insurance plans be damned, but we do have the resources to make the best of the ride. The best and most plentiful of these resources is each other. We should spend a great deal more time enjoying each other, our friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, classmates and fellow human beings and less time preparing every detail of our lives in the attempt to gain some sort of control.

Note to self: Live more in the moment, because that is all there really is. Back away from the sock drawer. Repeat.