Day One Hundred-Five: Gone With the Wind

It's been another set of frustrating days. Two nights ago we had a nor'easter blow through. Lots of wind and rain, but no snow. Still, it was a hell of a nor'easter. We got pummelled with 65 m.p.h. winds from about 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. We lost the power at 10:30, got it back and lost it again at 3:00 a.m. for good. The little ones total freaked out when the house went silent and dark. It is amazing how much noise is in a house with the power on, even when asleep. The hum of the humidifier, the refrigerator, the closet lights used as night light, the banging of the heat and the furnace, even random sounds from the ice maker teep the house full of night time sounds. Once the house went silent, everyone woke up. It was a very long night after that.

The wind sounded like a freight train rolling by our bedroom windows. I was afraid the wind would knock down a tree onto the roof or a window would give way and shatter. I just read that the wind gusts were up to 91 m.p.h. in our area. We were lucky. When we woke up, it was a mess of downed trees and branches and large areas of flooding water, mostly on the neighbors' property. Many roads were closed and most of the surrounding towns were also without power. An update from the town via email states that we are not likely to get our power back for up to a week.

It is amazing how everything comes to a standstill without power. No coffee to wake up, no t.v. to check the news, so how do we start the day?! The temperature dropped 5 degrees in the 5 hours since the power quit. I automatically reach for the light switch or the "on" button while moving around the house. It feels silly because I know that the power is out, but it is just that, automatic. I used to roll my eyes at the parents who strictly monitored the time the kids spent in front of the t.v. Now that there is no t.v., the kids don't know what to do with themselves. I now know it is time to get out the timer and stick with it.

I started thinking about the pioneers who settled the plains. I can't imagine the fortitude of moving into the unknown and starting from nothing. Park the wagon, dig a ditch, build a shelter, start a fire, carry water and start living. Whoa. I can't even figure out how to get myself a bowl of cereal in the dark. Between losing the water earlier in the month and now the power, someone out there is trying to teach me a lesson in humility. I'm getting it. I'm grateful to the modern conveniences of my time. But somehow, with all of these, I'm seeing the price we are paying. The technology we rely upon leaves us hostage. We are no longer self reliant. It is virtually impossible to function without pushing buttons and turning faucets. Left to our own devices, most of us would have a hard time surviving.

With that in mind, when I make my way home, I will check in on my neighbors and make sure everyone is fairing the power outage in some sembalance of normalcy. For now, I am at my parent's house, a bit cramped, but much happier for the use of the internet, the ice maker and my electric toothbrush. I will return home only once my husband has installed a new $1,200 generator my father had to travel 100 miles north to obtain. The thought of being trapped in a 4,000 square foot house with 4 small boys and no power to run the wii has left me shivering under my mother's electric blanket. The other lesson I have learned through all this, is that I am a slave to technology. Aren't we all?

Day One Hundred-Four: Three Years Old and So Damn Stubborn!

Is this kid cute, or what?! He is beautiful, inquisitive, delightful and my very last baby. He is also very often the bane of my existence. What is it about a stubborn 3 year old that sets my hair aflame?!! I was a professional before my foray into the wild world of motherhood. I put domestic violence offenders in jail. I argued bail cases for accused murderers. I even defended drug dealers, child molesters and the same type of batterers I later help put behind bars. Nothing prepared me for raising a 3 year old. No doubt, there is nothing under the sun is more frustrating, draining or exasperating than a very willful, very stubborn 3 year old.

No one tells you this. Not when everyone and your mother asks, "When are you having kids?" 5 minutes after the wedding vows. Not when the test comes back positive from the obstetrician's office. Not when you take the infernal Lamaze class. Not even when those kindly, knowledgeable maternity nurses send you home with your tiny bundle of love. It is something you hear vague rumblings about once your little one turns about 18 months. "Beware of the Terrible Twos!" is the mantra of many well meaning busybodies. I have found that there is no justification for the idea that 2 years old is horrible. It is 3 that you have to prepare for, watch out for, pray to get through alive.

My 3 year old absolutely refuses to use the word "please," apologize or to go into time out if it is not entirely, absolutely his idea. I have stood with a full sippy cup for a full 5 minutes repeating, "How do you ask?!" a million and one times and he still won't say please. I have literally stood him before the sibling he just swatted with the force of Babe Ruth and told him he must say he is sorry. After a prolonged staring contest with said sibling, he will mutter "sorry" in the least sorry voice I have ever heard. And I have literally picked him up and sat him in time out over and over and over again only to have him go boneless and slink to the floor in exasperating defiance. Is it 5 o'clock somewhere yet?

Before you are allowed to parent, I believe it is imperative to graduate from "3 Year Old Survival Camp." You should be subjected to hours of temper-tantrums, fits of rage and overtired melt-downs from hundreds of 3 year old volunteers. These should occur in simulated grocery stores, full elementary school auditoriums and packed adult restaurants. This way, you know what level of prozac and/or how many glasses of wine will keep the rage and frustration at bay ahead of time. No trial and error during a crisis. If you fail Survival Camp, you will be subjected to immediate and permanent childlessness. Not a bad incentive to fail, now that I think about it.

My darling little angel is now asleep on the couch. He is completely exhausted after a day of busy activity capped with one hum-dinger of a melt-down. I am convinced that God made 3 year olds completely adorable in the dream state simply so we will want to continue the undertaking of caring for them. If he wasn't so damn cute, if he didn't give me those few fleeting but warm and wonderful hugs I would have gone screaming for the hills ages ago.

Ah, kids are such a blessing.

Day One Hundred-Three: Helping Hands

www.lotsahelpinghands.com

I recently signed up to help out a neighbor at a website named "Lotsa Helping Hands." Its an ingenious idea, one that is deceptively simply yet very effective. Anyone who needs help can sign up on this site and anyone who wants to help can sign up for a task. In this case, a young mother of 2 has breast cancer and will be going through surgery and heavy duty chemotherapy. It's no fun in the best of circumstances, but having to deal with running a household, planing and making meals, getting the kids off to school, to all their activities and everything else you can think of makes it all that much worse. With all the collective wisdom in my neighborhood, someone knew of this site. Some else volunteered to coordinate it by setting it up and requesting tasks for specific dates. A general e-mail went out informing people who know her of this site and its purpose. I am happy to say that as of today the month of March is just about covered for meals with a good dent being made into the month of April. It is so easy to help, because one can pick whatever task whenever it fits into one's schedule.

Many people wonder how to find time to help others with our busy lives. This is a perfect opportunity for just about anyone with a computer. Know of someone going through a health crisis? Set them up and solicit help from those who care about them. Heard of someone going through a financial crisis? A few delivered meals or help with essentials can go a long way with helping them through it. Someone overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time to do it; single mom, single dad, ailing partner or parent with children to tend to, the list goes on and on. We all have a community to tap into. Sometimes we don't even realize how many people want to help. I know that the neighbor I have signed up to help had no idea so many people would step up. I also know that with so much support, she cannot help but have her spirits lifted in this most difficult time.

The goal of this blog was to help make my own little world a better, kinder place. With the help of this simple tool, it is easy for you to do it too. Steal this idea. Spread the word. We all can use a helping hand from time to time. Make sure you tell those who need help now that we will most likely need help later. As I am fond of saying, "It all comes out in the wash." It does. Karma can be a wonderful thing.