Day Eighty-Six: Top Ten

Christmas Day 2009:

Mom at Hour Three of a Whining, Defiant Three Year Old.

Lovely Christmas Photo!

TOP TEN REASONS

WHY

MOTHERHOOD IS NOT FOR WIMPS:

BECAUSE A WIMP CAN'T:

10. Socialize at a Christmas Party while a whining three year old is gripped onto your left leg for two solid hours, elegantly sip a glass of wine without spilling a drop with one hand and keep a six year old from hitting anyone under the age of five with the other.

9. Strip a vomit laden bed in less than 60 seconds without getting any on herself or on the floor.

8. Carry four full plastic grocery bags, one baby seat carrying a twelve pound baby, an over-sized designer purse and a stuffed diaper bag from the car in the driveway to the kitchen table without dropping a single item.

7. Run from a dead sleep to comfort a toddler after a bad dream by hearing his whimpers through two closed bedroom doors, two running fans and a humming humidifier.

6. Find any Lego piece crucial to the completion of the overpriced Lego project no matter what piece of furniture it is under, what toy bin it is in or what trash can it was accidentally tossed.

5. Simultaneously referee, mediate and sentence bad behavior with Supreme Court Justice-like fairness.

4. Listen to four children attempting to play the piano, drums, harmonica and guitar to four different songs, all at the same time at the same earsplitting volume without resorting to violence.

3. Change a poopy diaper- from clothes off to clothes on- in under 60 seconds.

2. Make breakfast for four children, get them dressed, teeth brushed, lunches made, backpacks packed, boots, coats, hats & mittens on and out the door in under two hours, all on four hours of sleep.

1. Weather one live birth, three c-sections, the gain and loss of 240 pounds in six years and the surge and drain of various hormones all without a heart attack, stroke or use of illegal drugs.