Well, it official. My husband and I are pathetic. We have resorted to scheduling a "date night." I don't know about you, but I have always found this particular term annoying. I'm married, therefore I don't date. I have a husband and we are going to spend some time alone together, not go out on a date. Given, that occurrence is about as common as Haley's Comet, but still, "date night?!" I think I need to think about this some more, as I have found that I don't a have photograph of the two of us since August and that was on the beach with many children. Hence, the advertisement for the place we will have dinner tomorrow night...
In taking stock of this situation, date night is an event in dire need of happening. Of late, we have been acting more like roommates than a married couple. Well, that is not an accurate description either, as I have not felt the need to label my food in the refrigerator and leave cryptic notes around the house about his half of the unpaid utility bills. More accurately, we as a couple have been placed on the back burner; a cold, unlit back burner. Everything and everyone has come first: our kids, his job, the dog, the errands, the yard work. The freakin' car repair appointment has garnered more undivided attention than our relationship.
This is not to say that we have a bad or ailing relationship. We are fortunate enough to be the best of friends. We genuinely like one another and enjoy one an other's company. This phenomenon isn't as common as you might think. I am happy to report that this compatibility has come in particularly handy over the past nine years. These are the years that have included the birth of four children, the loss of one income, the addition of a huge mortgage and one particularly hyper cocker spaniel. If we weren't best friends, the stress alone would have done us in a long time ago. That said, it is time that we both put some effort and attention into the other aspect of our relationship that has been long neglected- quality alone time.
Sadly, the only reason that we are having a scheduled "date night" is because some grateful client gave my husband a big, fat gift certificate to the Three Chimney's Inn. This is the only place in Durham, that I know of, where we can get a nice bottle of wine and a great meal in a settling that is implicitly off-limits to small children (i.e. 4 star dining.) If we didn't have this gift, I am betting that we would be spending about 15 minutes alone after the kids go to bed while some sporting event is baring out of the t.v., trying to have some semblance of an adult conversation. This is usually hampered by the fact that I am so exasperated and/or tired with the event known as "putting the kids" to bed that I can barely get out a coherent sentence. At least we live by my one and only hard and fast relationship rule- Always Kiss Me Goodnight. Just in case he is apt to forget, it is posted prominently over my side table, directly over the reading lamp. He has rarely forgotten.
Although I hate the term "date night," it is what it is. It is another event to schedule and another thing to feel guilty about not doing enough. We are married with children, so therefore, we must "date." Otherwise, we would only subsist on McDonald's Happy Meals for dining out and On Demand for entertainment. If I am truthful, I am looking forward to "date night," and not just because it is a night away from the children. (Hallelujah!) I actually get to have a conversation with my husband that will not be interrupted every 30 seconds with voices screaming from the playroom with little ditties like "he hit me!", "I can't find my lego guy with the black hat!" and "Jacob won't stop hitting the dog!" Pass the wine and start the conversation. Oh yeah, what does he look like again?
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