Day Fifty-One: The Irony of Stranger Danger

I have expended a great deal of effort in my quest to undertake random acts of kindness in the hope that I can make some small dent in the negative atmosphere in which we seem to be drowning. All in all, I find that the love you give is equal to the love you get. I have also found that it is true that you reap what you sew.

No matter how much kindness we collectively put out there, it is still a fact of life that evil lives and breathes. A rash of horrible stories have flooded the airwaves this past month all dealing with women or children who have been lured in by a stranger and then murdered. As a parent, I can think of no fate more horrible to contemplate. It gives me chills to even let my mind go in that direction, let alone actually think about it. Nevertheless, it is a real threat no matter where we live. As such, it must be addressed.

It is a terrible juxtaposition; as a person and as a mother, I am trying give kindness to whomever is receptive to it. But, as a person and a mother, I must both be wary of strangers and teach my children to be wary as well. I am not sure that there is any way to explain the irony. This is a life lesson that only comes with experience. I think I have a very good sense of people. My first impressions are rarely wrong. If I get the feeling that there is something not quite kosher about someone, odds are I have hit the nail on the head. This is not 100% fool proof, as I have judged someone in a negative light and come to find that they are perfectly lovely, despite my initial impression. All in all, I'd rather err on the side of caution. Yet, a voice in the back of my mind questions the fairness of such judgment given how alienated, angry, suspicious and intolerant we have become as a society.

I will be sitting down with my children tonight and review the real dangers of strangers. I will try to be honest about any questions they have without upsetting them or scaring them for life. Again, its a fine line. I will also take the time to review these safety lessons with the 8 other boys I have in my Cub Scout Den. I can't think of a more timely or important issue to revisit with the children around me. They are all so young, so trusting and so vulnerable. It is wonderful that they live in this secure area with so many caring adults. It is also the biggest reason why I worry that they won't really get the message they need. They have no idea that the world can be a very cruel and dangerous place.

I have made note that the victims of these abductions and murders have been consistently women and children. Certainly children are the most vulnerable members of our society and that is exactly why these sick people go after them; they are easy targets. I am more puzzled as the aspect of women as victims. Eight-two years have passed since women gained the right to vote. Forty years have passed since the beginning of the radical women's movement. Regardless of all the progress, women are still vulnerable in a way that men are not. Physically weaker? More trusting? More desperate to find a mate? Less testosterone combined with more estrogen? I don't know the answers, but I do know that this is a good reminder for all women and especially mothers of little girls-girls need to grow into mature, confident, healthy, happy women. The emphasis cannot be on physical looks, finding "catch" to marry or cute naivety. It must be on self acceptance, self fulfilment and self esteem. Wow, by the looks of t.v., music, movies and magazines, we have a very long way to go indeed.

Until I feel that my random acts of kindness no longer serve any positive purpose, I will continue to serve them up whenever the opportunity arises. I will not let the horrible acts of sick individuals darken my spirit or dim my love of humanity. I will let these acts serve my common sense and proceed with optimistic caution. I hope my children understand the lesson and will thus to do the same.